Wednesday, April 26, 2017
After Years....

Such a feeling coming over me... I am able to retrieved my blog!! OMG!... my last entry was Sunday, November 26, 2006! It was 11 years back! Oh how I miss my Uni years. How I miss my years back then.... I was doing my MSc 11 years ago and now I am struggling to complete my phd thesis...arghh. I hope I will be motivate to finish up my thesis after this. And I will write my journeys here starting this day! Welcome back Armicelli! Happy Blogging......

Posted at 4/26/2017 by armicelli
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Sunday, November 26, 2006
=:i'm missing you:=

"I'm not missing you"
I keep on playing the song.
The chorus continuously winding in my head.
I follow each beat of the melody.
'...i'm not missing you..'
I sing along the line and sorting my heart to accept the the words.

But, can I lie to my dear heart?
Can I say it if I'm not certain?
I can't possibly forcing myself.
Is it wrong if I say it sincerely.
Honestly, I am missing you.
I really do.

Posted at 11/26/2006 by armicelli
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Sunday, September 24, 2006
=:Ramadhan:=

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak to all!

Posted at 9/24/2006 by armicelli
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Thursday, August 31, 2006
=:sebelum saya jatuh cinta:=

Aida, inilah lirik lagu itu. Nanti saya cari time utk upload lagu nie kat sini,ok.
The song speak for my heart.
****************************************************************************************

Before I Fall In Love
(by Coco Lee)

My heart says we've got something real
Can I trust the way I feel
Cuz my heart's been through it before
Am I'm just seeing what I want to see
Or is it true
Could you really be

Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
(Who warns) my ups and downs
So tell me now
Before I fall in love

And I'm at the point of no return
So afraid of getting burned
But I wanna take a chance
Oh please
Give me a reason to believe
Say you're the one that you'll always be

Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
(Who warns) my ups and downs
So tell me now
Before I fall in love

It's been so hard for me
To give my heart away
But I would give my everything
Just to hear you say...

Someone to have and hold
With all my heart and soul
I need to know
Before I fall in love
Someone who'll stay around
(Who warns) my ups and downs
So tell me now
Before I fall in love
**************************************************

Posted at 8/31/2006 by armicelli
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Tuesday, August 22, 2006
=:keluhan hati perempuan bachelor kini:=

mungkin saya tak pernah mengadu begini.
tapi hari ini setelah ym dgn kak emi, terpk pulak rasa nak luahkan disini.

tiba-tiba saya ym dgn kak emi bercerita pasal jodoh.
sebenarnya topik lapuk kami. naik bosan bercerita ttg jodoh nie.
sbb at the end of the day, pasti masing2 pujuk sama sendiri.
sabarlah...

mmg sabar, takkan tak sabar...tapi hati nie nak cerita jugak.
terbuku lama sangat barangkali. tak de teman nak cerita hal hal begini.
kalau cerita kat mak mesti susah sekali hati orang tua tu...
lihat anaknya yg sedih hati begini.

hari nie, ntah orang ke berapa ntah ckp benda yg sama kat saya.
CT pun dah kawin...jadi??? confused jugak hati kecil nie.
apa related to diriku ini...adooi...
tertekan? mestilah rasa pressure..
mana taknye, sah2 pompuan tu dlm umur saya nie gak...
umur yg patut-kawin bagi masyarakat kita melayu.

tapi mulut orang lantaklah depa nak cakap apa.
cuma satu yg bestnye bila ngadu kat kakak iparku, jawapan dia paling best..
CT tu bukan pilih, dia main sapu aje janji kawin..
hemm...pikir2 betul gak kot..hhhhehahh...biorlah dia tu.

yang pasti...penat kadang2 menanti.
tunggu tunggu dan tunggu. mungkin kena lagi tunggu.
sampai bila?...takde sapa dpt jawab.
macam pegi memancing. letak umpan skit punya besar..
tapi takde ikan pun nak makan. apa lagi kalu letak umpan kecik.
ikan bilis pun jeling aje tengok umpan tu nanti.
mungkin kah saya yg tidak pandai memancing atau memancing di tempat yg salah.
salah lagi laa aku nie...

pastu, ok..ada orang kata, tak kisah laa sapa mula dulu yg penting jadi.
kalau jadi, kalau tak? tak ke malu tak ingat?
maka dah lepas cakap...bagitau suka..
almaklumlah, ingatkan dia suka tiba2 bila tanya...
takde respon pulak...tak suka rupanya.
bagi harapan cam mengunung...ingatkan ada hati kat kita.
rupa2 nya anggap sebagai kawan baik aje...cisss...sungguh tak guna!

pastu, nak kenal orang baru? berapa lama berkenalan?
silap2 lepas 3- 4 bulan...tup2 tak suai pulak...
tak ke dah membazir 3 - 4 bulan tu macam tu aje.
maka umur makin meninggi bukan menurun...
nak kenal yg baru...ambil masa..introduction and bunga2 aje dah makan masa...
pantun2 laa, gurindam2 laaa....addooii..

pastu, jadi 2nd wife ok? huh? ishh...kalu boleh mintak sgt2 dielakkan.
mmg laa ketentuan Allah kena terima. kalu dah qada dan qadarnya begitu..
tapi bukankah kita disuruh berusaha...mintak pada Allah yg baik2..
mintak di elakkan merampas hak org lain..
nanti bak kata kakak iparku, 'main sapu aje, janji kawin'
Ya Allah...mintak2 di jauhkan.
bukan apa, sanggup ke diri berkongsi?
nak dengar suami sendiri yg dicintai panggil org lain sayang. adooi...tak jelous ke?
saya jelous. saya mengaku itu.

walaupun org kata, bau syurga kalu izinkan suami kawin lagi satu...
tapi tak ke nanti boleh bertukar jadi bau neraka...sbb manalah tau..jadi derhaka.
sbb hati yg derita, jiwa terseksa bila suami tak adil dan saksama.

pastu, ada kata buka option. terima laa kalau yg muda dari kita.
adooi...ramai lagi pompuan yg lebih muda dari kita yg lelaki muda boleh pandang.
setakat buat kakak angkat tu bolehlaa...
tapi, bertahan ke kita...bila kita 28 dia 22, oklah..not too bad.
tapi bila kita 58 dia 54, kita 68 dia 62, dia masih lelaki kuat dan bergaya, kita??

pastu, nak terima yg tua? sekali anak dia sebaya kita.
aiiii....silap2 jadi nurse dia...kita muda lagi...dia sakit2...kena jaga dia di hari tua.
tambah dosa aje. ajak pi sogo sakit2 belakang. ajak pi jusco, kaki sakit, itu sakit ini sakit...buat tambah dosa aje...tentu2nya hati tak puas, mesti memberontak jiwa.
tambah dosa lagi. yelah, kita nak shopping...dia pulak tak larat ke sana sini.
ayah n mak sendiri pun sama sakit...
baiklah jaga org tua sendiri..dr jaga suami tua.


pastu, suami kaya, alamat jadi buah mulut orang laa..nak lagi suami kaya tu duda...
hidup masyarakat pasti jadi bualan kawasan setempat.

'patutlaa sanggup, kaya...' sanggup ke nak terima, sampai bila??
mmg boleh buat tak tau aje..tp hati tak rasa ke sakit dan derita.

pastu, kawin duda??...sanggup ke nak jadi ibu tiri? dah sedia ke?
yelaah, pas kawin...tak nak ke berdua2 bersama suami.
tiba2 tengah romantik2, dtg pulak anak dia...cuma ngadu, dpt nightmare.
there you go, tidur laa dgn anak si dia.
kalu duda tak de anak tak apa.
tapi, kalu mak mertua tu dok compare menantu dulu dan kini...
adoooi...seksa jugak batin menanggung...


pastu, nak tunggu yg bujang dan available...mana dia?
tak nak ckp pulak suka ke tidak...diam aje.
tp baik dgn kita. terseksa tunggu. kalu tanya nanti...lari pulak.
kalu buat taktau...apa cerita..nak lekat camner...

pastu, nak bangsa lain. addooii...restu keluarga sgt penting.
kalu tak setuju dek org tua..cam mana nak lepas kawin yg bangsa lain.
ada kata, susah adat berbeza...
satu hal pulak. kena pulak ajar makan budu belacan.
itu kalu adat...kalau agama, mampu ke kita membimbing?

sedangkan diri sendiri tgh cari2 jln menuju bahagia itu.
mengaji, solat semua nak kena ajar. masalahnya, ganti puasa pun belum habis.
dengar syaaban aje, dah pikir pasal syawal...baju raya, kuih raya..
ramadhan pun blum lagi...kalau macam tu cam mana nak bimbing?

nak mau sapu aje, bahagia ke akhirnya?
bila pilih, kata memilih...tapi mmglah sepatutnya memilih..
bukanlah memilih yg tahap keterlaluan...cuma pilih yg boleh suai dgn kita.
yg boleh memahami kita sekurangnya 70% dari diri kita.
yg kita rasa senang dan tenang hati bila dgn dia.
yg boleh buat kita rasa happy dan secure bila dgn dia.
takkan nak buat syarat, janji kawin.
mmg kawin hukumnya wajib bila sampai syarat.
tp. masalahnya, calon ada ke tidak.

ada pulak kata, orang nak awk tak nak...
addooi....macam tu pulak cakap.
kalau nak, biarlah betul2 nak...
tp bila pikir balik...kalu kita tak nak, org tu nak..tak laa jadi.
kalu org tu tak nak, kita nak...tak jadi jugak.
jadi kenalah pastikan dia nak, kita pun nak.

ok, moral of the story, conclusionnya apa?
bersabarlah...inshaAllah.




Posted at 8/22/2006 by armicelli
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Friday, August 18, 2006
=:i wish to tell him...:=

I got this story from a forum. It's a nice story and a heart-breaking one. Save your tears 'til the end.
...i wish to tell him...

********************************************

7th grade stared at the guy next to me.
He was my so called "best friend".
I stared at his short, silky hair, and wished he was mine.
But he didnt notice me like that, I knew it.

After class he walked up to me and asked me for the notes he had missed the day
before and handed them to him. He said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanna tell him, I want him to know that I don`t wanna Be just friends, I love him but I`m just too shy, and I don`t know why...

11th Grade
The phone rang. on the other end it was him. He was in tears, mumbling on and on about how his love had broke his heart. He asked me to come over because He didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to him on the sofa, I stared at his soft eyes, wishing he was mine, after 2 hours, a drew barrymore movie, & 3 bags of chips, he decided to go to sleep. He looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanna tell him, I want him to know that I don`t wanna be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and i ask why

Senior Year
The day before prom he walked to my locker. "My date is Sick" he said; she's not gonna
go. well I didnt have a dAte and in 7th qrade we made a promise that if neither of us had dates we would go together just as "best friends". So we did.
Prom niqht
After everything was over I was standing, at his front door step. I stared at him, he smiled at me I want him to be mine, but he doesn`t think of me like that and I know it. then he said "I Had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanna tell him, I want him to kno that I don`t want to be just friends, I love him but I`m just too shy, and I don`t kNow why

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as his perfect body floated like an anqel up on stage to qet his diploma. I wanted him to be mine, but he didnt notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, he came to me in his smock and hat, and cried as I hugged him. then he lifted his head from my shoulder and said, you`re my best friend, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the Cheek. I wanna tell him, I want him to know that I don`t wanna be just friends, I love him but I`m just too shy, and I don`t know why..

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. that guy is gettinq married now. I watched him say "i do" and drive off to his new life, married to another woman. I wanted him to be mine, but he didn`t see me like that and I knew it. But before he Drove away, he came to me n said you came!" he said. "thanks!" and kissed me on the cheek. I wanna tell him, I want him to know that i dont wanna be just friends, I love him but I`m just too shy, and i don`t know why..

Years passed,  I looked down at the coffin of a guy who used to be my "best friend". at the service they read a journal entry he had wrote in his high school years.
This is what it read:
I stare at her wishing she was mine, but she doesn`t notice me like that, and I know it. i wanna tell her, i want her to know that I don`t wanna be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don`t know why. I wish she would tell me she loved me...I wish I did too. I thought to myself, and I cried

Posted at 8/18/2006 by armicelli
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Wednesday, August 16, 2006
=:hope, too hope...not hoping..:=

Hope and too hope is a two different situation.
Hope if you fail will be like falling from a bed or a bike.
Too hope, once you fail is like falling from a big tree.
But for both circumstances you will feel the hurt.
At the end of the day - you are hurt!

How can people say if you don't hope too much, it will not hurt that much if you fail?
Because for both scenerio; it does hurt you.

But not putting any hope is like not having any mission or vision.
It's like you are rowing a boat but don't know where to go, no map to refer, no route to lead.
Hope, too hope or not hoping, if you fail, you'll get the ache.
The hurt really pain and if you scrutinize see it, it's really more than just hurt!

Posted at 8/16/2006 by armicelli
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Thursday, July 20, 2006
=:i miss you:=

I miss the night when you called and I hear your voice.
I miss the night when you called and tell me your day.
I miss the night when you called and listen to my despairs.
I miss the night when you called and giving me courages and hopes.
I miss the night when you called and share with me your joy.
I miss the night when you called and show your care for me.
I miss the night when you called and say good night!
Will you call me again?
Because I miss you and I miss your calls.

Posted at 7/20/2006 by armicelli
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Monday, July 17, 2006
=:minum susu:=

Pagi tadi saya dan mak berbual tentang zaman kanak-kanak saya. Teringat tentang dulu-dulu mak saya selalu suruh saya minum susu pagi2 sebelum ke sekolah. Kata mak, supaya tulang kuat dan boleh putih kulit saya yang agak kuning langsat ini..hehe. Almaklumlah, setuju dan terima aje apa mak cakap waktu kecik2 dulu. Hari ini, saya tanya mak saya satu soalan yg tak matang sungguh..heheh. "kenapa saya tak putih pun, dah bertahun tahun saya minum susu?" Mak saya cuma gelak aje. 
Sambil tu mak cerita tentang angah saya yang selalu buli saya. Masa kecik2 angah pun kena minum susu. Tapi betapa nakalnya angah saya itu, dia akan minum separuh susu dari 'mug' dia dan selebihnya dituangkan kedalam 'mug' saya. Dan masa tu susu saya sudah hampir habis (saya mmg cepat abis minum susu sbb dah hari2 jadi dah terbiasa). Masa tu saya akan jerit2 panggil mak saya mengadu. Tapi mak hanya kata "tak apalah, adik minum aje la abiskan". Dengan muka masam dan tak puas hati saya tetap minum. Mungkin sbb itu saya sgt rapat dgn angah saya. Tapi mmg betul pun, sampai sekarang saya dibuli angah saya. Heheh...tapi 'saya tak kisah'. hehhe.

Kalau kecik2, masa sekolah2, masa time 'busuk2' saya disuruh minum susu, sekarang saya pulak yang suruh mak saya minum susu. Tujuannya tetap sama, 'supaya tulang kuat' tapi cuma saya tak dpt menjanjikan pada mak saya yang minum susu boleh putih kulit..heheh. Sungguh tak logik, kekekeke...

Semalam mak saya genap berusia 58 tahun.
Selamat Hari Lahir buat mak saya.
Semoga sentiasa sihat dan ceria.
InshaAllah...itulah doa saya setiap hari kerana saya tiada siapa yang tinggal, hanyalah ibu yg tercinta.

Posted at 7/17/2006 by armicelli
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Sunday, July 09, 2006
=:hadiah:=

There are things to tell but it turns out to be highly confidential.
Thus, I decided to share this sweet lyric from a song title HADIAH populared by Amy Mastura five years back. I think the song should be specially dedicated to my Ex-Stag Hill mate. Probably we have the similar 'feel' towards our current situation.
Again, I'm still writing about the same topic here.
Read out the lyric and you'll get what I mean.....
My dear Huneydew, hang on there and be strong for every obstacles.
My sis Elixir and Lady_Emi - never stop hoping...;-)

******************************************************

Hadiah

Berikan daku cinta setulusnya hatimu
Untuk ku kecapi bahagia
Ku ingin kau disisiku di mana pun berada
Dalam duka dan ceria
Sekian lama ku layari
Sepi hidup ini
Sendirian

Tak ingin lagi daku dibayangi semalam
Hidupku penuh kesunyian
Dan sekian lama kini ku mula mengerti
Aku tak bisa sendiri
Kepadamu ku sandarkan
Cinta tulus suci
Yang abadi

Hadiahkan untuk ku cinta di hatimu
Hiasi jiwa ini dengan rasa rindu
Bawakanlah daku bersamamu selamanya
Hatimu

*****************************************************
- this is for you -

Posted at 7/9/2006 by armicelli
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